It’s a question every married couple gets, whether they’ve been inducted into the parenthood club yet or not: how many do you want?
In my experience, folks love to ask about others’ plans for family size- nothing wrong with a little curiosity, right? Right, until they use your response as an opportunity to loudly judge you as practical or impractical, naive or wise, selfish or thoughtful, or just plain nuts. (Parenthood teaches you nothing if not to grow a thicker skin, I think!)
My response to the ubiquitous “How many do you want?” has always been 4, so the asker’s reaction usually includes something along the lines of “How will you afford that?” They are speaking, of course, about a variety of literal costs that are associated with raising kids from clothing to college, and while I don’t like to go into a full explanation of our far-off plans to “afford” college for four kids (hint: the same way I afforded it, and the way Harmony describes in this awesome post) I may give a quick summary of our current minimal tendencies and attempts at a frugal lifestyle. Here are a couple ways that we keep costs down as a family of 2 adults and a 6-month-old (“Mijo”). We combine these with general good habits such as not eating out and waiting 1-2 days before making any purchases.
1. Just (Don’t) Do It. And by “it” I mean buy the baby shit that everyone says you need.
“Essentials” we didn’t buy or ask other people to buy for our baby: changing table, nursery furniture (ie rocker, dresser- we simply don’t have room!), bouncer/baby seat, swing, baby gym, bottle sterilizer, baby monitor, stroller (yeah I’m pretty extreme with that one. We do plan to buy an “umbrella stroller” when he gets bigger, but they’re like 20 bucks). We don’t miss any of these items.
Additionally, we bought just a few bottles since I am exclusively breastfeeding and am only away from Mijo a few times a week for 3-4 hours at a time. Mijo also has a small collection of toys- all gifts at this point except for a few O-balls that I bought for him- and we swap them out weekly, since babies typically play with only a few toys at a time.
2. Beg, borrow and DIY.
I sew, so I DIY-ed the hell outta crib sheets, burp cloths, and some of his little bibs, pants and overalls. I enjoy making these things, and it’s cheap to do so (although my time is worth money, again, I enjoy doing it so I don’t consider it a cost). We are about to begin solids, and I will be cooking them at home. We use the library to check out new books every 2 weeks rather than buying many books- though I could go nuts in Barnes & Nobles or our neighborhood bookstore given the opportunity 🙂 We have used a babysitter, but whenever possible we ask my mom, who lives an hour away, for the occasional date night or swap favors with our friends.
3. Keeping it Old School
I wanted to cloth diaper long before becoming a parent; it was something that my parents did and something that I saw families that I babysat for do, as well. However, there are so many options on the market for cloth diapers nowadays, and many of them are super expensive. It can easily become a costly habit rather than an opportunity savings.
I use 24 of these super simple, very old school diapers under 4 waterproof covers. The diapers are sized, but the first size we bought fit Mijo til 6 months, and we expect the second size to fit him for much longer- they should be usable til he’s almost 2! I spent $50 on the first set of diapers and $70 on this last batch (because they are larger). It’s easy to spend that much on disposables in one month. The covers are a bit pricier, at $13 a piece (I use Thirsties) but the size we currently have were bought with a gift card and will fit til 9 months. There are other affordable options as well, I just like this particular cover.
I haven’t tried to itemize the water bill and detergent costs associated with cloth diapering, but I’d like to do so soon to see exactly how much we’re saving. We also hope that cloth diapers will help Mijo potty train earlier (works for some kids, but not all) and that should result in some savings.
*Note: these are not affiliate links, they are simply links to the products I use every day and love. I am not receiving any compensation for including these links!
And the big thing that we’ve splurged on….
wait for it…airline tickets.
I know, I know. Air travel is safer than auto travel. We should take advantage of the free flights while he’s under two. And yet, I am a worrier; initially, we bought the tickets for Mijo for our recent trip “home” to the East Coast, rather than having him fly as a lap child, in order to curb my first-time-mom and general anxiety. But the extra $250 (I’m not wincing writing that! I swear!) was worth it for more than my peace of mind. Our baby boy is an extremely wiggly little guy who can’t stay in one position for more than a few seconds, and is constantly sliding, bending, pushing off, and bouncing when he’s in our laps. Holding him for even half an hour is legitimately tiring- I don’t know how it would have worked for the entire 5-hour flight! It was really nice to be able to set him in his carseat to play with a toy, and as it turns out, he’s a fan of air travel- he fell asleep for 3 hours of the flight, and because he was in his own seat we got to relax too.
Everyone’s priorities are different, and it just so happens that I’m willing to forgo a lot of gear but consider a less-stressful travel experience simply priceless.
Examining the Everyday 